The wedding planning continues!

I know, I know... I haven't posted in forever and a half. We basically took a break from wedding planning over the holidays. Holidays are stressful enough with the planning, preparation, cooking and entertaining. We were due for a break from the wedding obsessing. So now I'm back to obsessing, but I'm feeling refreshed and optimistic.

I just wanted to give an update for some of the progress we've made.

*drum roll please*

We have officially hired Matt Shumate as our wedding photographer. He's terrific, and we're really looking forward to working with him!

We think we have selected a caterer. It's actually one of our favorite locally owned little restaurants here, and I don't think we've ever had anything there that we haven't liked. They're also the first place that gave us the answers we'd been dying to hear. They're flexible and happy to work with us on a menu, they're happy to supply a couple of vegan meals if we need them, and they're happy to do a tasting with us once we narrow down the menu! YES! I don't know why it had to be so ridiculously hard to find somewhere that was happy to do that, but we were thrilled to finally hear it. Plus, as a big added bonus, they also supply the serving staff and the dishes! DOUBLE YES! And YAY! That'll save us hundreds of dollars to not have to rent all of those dishes. We have to meet with them again soon, but at this point, we're feeling pretty good about things.

A couple of weeks ago, we had a little adventure when we went looking for a wedding suit for Dylan. Our TV has been flooded with Men's Wearhouse commercials lately, and we kept seeing the commercial about "When all eyes are on her, she's going to be looking at you..." and how they're going to make you look your best for your wedding. We thought that seemed like a good place to start looking. As it turns out, not so much. We were excited when we arrived, and very disheartened and discouraged by the time we left. The woman who helped us was terrible. She directed us to a section of about a dozen suits on a rack and said that was where we could look. The choices were crap. When we told her we were hoping to find a dark brown suit, she just said they didn't have it. When we asked if there were any options, like maybe finding a suit in a different size and then ordering it in Dylan's size, she actually told us we should just go somewhere else! We couldn't believe it. I told her that there was a nice brown suit on their website, and she shrugged. When we saw a dark brown tuxedo, we asked her about that and she said it was a rental. We had to ask if they had something like that that he could try on, just so he could try on SOMETHING remotely like what we were looking for. We were shocked to find out that they don't have rentals for you to try on. They take your measurements, and you get what they give you. You don't get to try it on first! The woman literally told us we should shop elsewhere several times. Dylan was furious by the time we left. He was ready to write a letter to Mr. "I Guarantee It" in the commercials. It's not like we were being jerks, either. We were polite, and excited about buying his wedding suit. Blah! I don't ever want to go there again.

We decided to make the most of it while we were on the other side of town. I really don't have a good sense of the best places to buy a suit for a man, but I was thinking that our next stops should be somewhere like Macy's and Nordstrom. Lo and behold, across the street from the Men's Wearhouse was the Nordstrom Rack store! We figured it was a longshot, but worth a try. JACKPOT! There was a wonderful girl named Nicole in the men's department at the Nordstrom Rack who went out of her way to help us find the perfect suit for Dylan. We found a gorgeous chocolate brown Ben Sherman suit that we both instantly loved. Unfortunately, they only had it one size too small for Dylan! Lovely Nicole made it her personal mission to help us find the suit in his size. I don't know how many other Nordstrom Rack stores she ended up calling, but today she called and announced that she had found the suit! HOORAY! She gave me the number to the San Jose store, and when I reached their men's department I got as far as, "Hi, I'm calling because someone from the Spokane Nord--" and he said, "Yeah! Is this Alyson?" Now that's service when a complete stranger from several states away knows your name. So now we are eagerly awaiting the arrival of Dylan's gorgeous new Ben Sherman wedding suit! And if for some reason the suit isn't right or doesn't fit, we can return it locally, so it's pretty risk-free. We're so excited!

This is a picture from the Nordstrom website of what I'm fairly certain is the same Ben Sherman suit that we bought him (except this one is navy, obviously):


This is a picture I took of the suit we found, so hopefully the suit that's being shipped to us will look like this! My flash made the suit look a little brighter than it really is, it's a nice dark brown.


Dylan's going to look so good!

Oooh, and I also found a pair of wedding shoes at the Nordstrom Rack. They're very simple, but they're a pretty iridescent pearl and they're so soft they feel like slippers. And I got them on clearance for less than $20! I've heard too many horror stories about brides wearing hot shoes that killed their feet, so these will at least be my Plan B shoes, even if I find something fancier for pictures.

Holiday and Wedding Menus

Hi everyone!

I received an email the other night from our wedding photographer checking to make sure everything was alright because he noticed I hadn't posted here for a while. Thanks Matt!

In case anyone else was concerned, everything is alright. I haven't been feeling especially inspired (or inspirational) lately in the wedding department, because I've been a busy bee. Dylan's family (aka my future in-laws) are coming to our place for Thanksgiving this year, so I've been driving myself a little crazy in preparation. I may have mentioned this before, but my mom is very much the hostess-with-the-mostess type and she set the bar pretty high when I was growing up. This will be the fourth Thanksgiving I've cooked, but it's the first one with real guests. The last few were just us, usually with one of my parents. There will still only be 5 or 6 of us this year, but our entertaining space is woefully small, so it will feel like a full house. For whatever reason, I've chosen this year to second-guess some of my Thanksgiving recipes, which means I've been spending a lot of time reading magazines and online recipes trying to see if I can find a couple new dishes for this year's Thanksgiving menu. I've been talking to some friends and clients about traditional recipes, and it's funny the way we all have our own dishes that we associate with the holiday. One of my clients recently said that the first time she went to Thanksgiving at her in-laws, she couldn't believe they weren't serving sauerkraut alongside the turkey, because that was always a family tradition for her. I haven't heard any feedback from Dylan's family, so hopefully they aren't expecting something like sauerkraut this year! Do you have any special Thanksgiving traditions? Leave me a comment and tell me about it!

Speaking of planning menus, that has been one of the toughest parts of our wedding planning so far. We still haven't found a caterer that we've really clicked with yet. I have a question for all of you brides-to-be or newly-weds: Have the caterers you've met with offered tastings? Every wedding planning book I've read (and there have been many) talks about the importance of tasting the menu you've chosen. I think that makes complete sense, because if you're going to be spending thousands of dollars on food for your guests, you want to know what you're going to be serving them. Much to my (and Dylan's) chagrin, none of the caterers we've met with offer tastings. It seems bizarre to me. Dylan is especially disappointed, because as a food-lover, trying the food was the part of the wedding planning he was most looking forward to! I'd like to hear what others' experiences have been with hiring their caterers. If you know a fantastic caterer (especially one who will let us try some of the food) in the Spokane / Coeur d'Alene area, please send them my way!

And because I always like to throw in a little eye candy, I wanted to show this crafty autumn decor idea:


You know I love the balance of elegant and rustic, and I think these corn husk wrapped votives from Martha Stewart are an interesting example -- perfect for an autumn themed wedding, or your Thanksgiving table!

Hopefully things will slow down a little soon, because I'm excited to try to put together at least a couple of winter wedding posts!

Soapbox Sunday... on a Wednesday.

This is an interesting week. We're starting to look for a caterer and a photographer. There is a definite part of me that goes, "The wedding is next October. This seems a little crazy!" but there is also the part that has read too many wedding blogs and wedding planning books that all say you should try to book a venue, a caterer and a photographer ASAP in hopes that you book them before someone else does. We figured what the heck, it doesn't hurt to start looking. We'd like to have those three things figured out by October, because they're all big deals and it'd be nice to get some things taken care of early on. We think we may have found a venue. Yesterday I just found a promising local photographer that has a style we both like. Today we meet with our first caterer.

As we begin the search for some great vendors, I've been referring to a book I bought on Amazon called Bridal Bargains. I'm including a link to it, because if you're a bride to be, this is a book worth getting.

It gives good advice on what to look for in a vendor and what questions to ask to try to weed out the flakes.

Since we aren't in a huge city, the options are a little tougher. We want something sweet and intimate that suits our personalities, but we've already found a lot of wedding industry clichés.

The reason I'm most thankful for this book right now is that it's helped to give me a little bit better idea of what to expect. I'd like to think that I'm a smart girl, and I don't take a lot of (ahem) guff. The problem is that I, like most brides I've spoken to, have never planned an event like this. It's hard to know what you should expect when you speak to a vendor, because you don't know what the norm is. Unfortunately, there seem to be some vendors out there who are well aware of the fact that they're dealing with a novice and more than willing to take full advantage of that. I haven't had to deal with that yet myself, but I've heard some horror stories.

In the catering section of Bridal Bargains, it gives tips on things to pay attention to and questions to ask your potential vendors.

One of the first questions that they suggest you ask is, "Can we have a taste test of the food on our menu?" These are their thoughts on that:

We positively loathe caterers who expect you to pay thousands of dollars for food on faith. Equally reprehensible are the caterers that ask "why do you need to taste such basic items? Hors d'oeuvres are hors d'oeuvres." We suggest you find another caterer if you get this line. Should there be a charge for taste tests? Well, some caterers (especially restaurants) may have a minimal fee for tastings, which we can understand. While we'd prefer it to be free, it's better to pay for a taste test and know what you're buying. Even better: taste two or three options for each course (if you plan a sit-down dinner).

I had to laugh because I read this AFTER I had spoken to our first potential caterer. Here is a summary of how my first foray into finding a caterer went:

Earlier this week I contacted one of my top choices for a caterer after reading every local catering website I could find. I probably should've prepared myself better for that first phone call, but I was optimistic that as a professional, the vendor would lead the way. It turns out, that was naive of me. I have corresponded via email and phone calls with this woman. She has not suggested we meet, which is what I had expected when I contacted her. From the few pictures I've seen of her work, she displays her food with lovely artistic flair. Her menu is on the gourmet side, and she seems to be one of the few local caterers I've seen that doesn't include things like deli trays, which we're hoping to avoid. I have explained to her our menu ideas and the general theme that we'd like for our reception. She says she likes it, but hasn't really made suggestions. She answers my questions, and she certainly sounds capable. I'm interested.

Since I have never met her, I can't get a good read of her personality and I feel a little uncomfortable speaking to her because of that. I'm in unfamiliar territory. I was also very thrown off and a bit startled by her response when I inquired about the possibility of a tasting once we had the menu details worked out. The common sense part of me (like the book, although I didn't realize it at the time) says that if you're going to spend thousands of dollars on food for your wedding, you'd like to know what it is that you will be serving your guests. You'd like to try it and verify that it is the quality you're expecting. Plus, Dylan loves food. A lot of wedding details are mind-numbingly boring for the groom and one of the things he's most excited about is the food. He'd be ready to order the wedding cake tomorrow if it meant he got to sample cake first. But I digress... When I asked about arranging a tasting, her response was something like, "I don't do that. I just don't see the point. Anyone can make a good meal for two people, but I don't think that it really proves that they'd be a good caterer." While I see her point, it stuns me a little bit. My response was, "Actually, I've been surprised by the number of people who can't even manage that." How many times have you ordered a meal from a restaurant thinking it sounded delicious, only to wrinkle your nose and think "Well, I won't be ordering that again." Is that really what you want to risk serving your wedding guests? I reassured her that we certainly didn't want to inconvenience her or interfere with her busy schedule, but that it was hard to commit to spending thousands of dollars on blind faith. I said that we'd be happy to pay for the tasting. I said (only half-jokingly) that it could be a deal breaker for Dylan to not be able to sample anything. She told me that she understood and that I was welcome to hire another caterer. I had asked about the possibility of going to one of her events during set-up so that we could see a representation of her work in person (another suggestion from the book) and she agreed that we can go to an event she has scheduled sometime in October and that she'll make a little extra food that we can sample there. It may not remotely resemble our desired menu, but at least we would get to sample something that she's made. I'm not sure if I should be pleased and grateful at that possibility, or mind-boggled and slightly offended. Maybe she really is that good. Maybe I have unrealistic expectations. For now, I am waiting to form that opinion. I will admit to being disillusioned at the moment.

Since that conversation, I emailed another local caterer that I've heard good things about. As with any large purchase, I intend to see what is available before I put my money down. Another Bridal Bargains tip suggests setting up appointments with at least three caterers. It spefically says, "When you call for an appointment, notice how promptly the caterer returns your call. Within the business day is good -- if it takes them more than a day, that's a red flag. Prompt attention is your first clue to the caterer's commitment to service."

I sent potential caterer #2 an email (including my phone number) late Friday night, and received an email back late Tuesday afternoon. Once again, I had to laugh a little having read the tip from the book. The email didn't answer any of my questions, but did say that it would be easiest to meet and discuss details. I ended up calling them, and have arranged a meeting with someone for today. I'm trying not to throw up additional red flags, because I emailed the chef, I heard back from someone else, and we are now scheduled to meet with a third person. I want to be hopeful and optimistic, but this whole thing is already giving me a headache. Fingers crossed that one of these encounters will go very well, that we will be able to taste and enjoy some very good food, and that the people responsible for that food happen to be available for our wedding day.

Is anyone else out there having a heck of a time? Please feel free to drop me an email if you have sanity and/or money saving tips.

Phew... I think I might need a cocktail by the end of the day. Or a cupcake. Or at least a nap.

In the meantime, let me just say: Good luck, to all of the girls out there trying to plan their wedding! We need all the help we can get!